by Jackie Graham
Dear Sunday,
We’ve come a long way. I don’t remember how it was when I was younger (you know how kids are). I guess it was when “adult” life rolled around that’s things got rocky.… I’ll admit I called you some names: Sunday Scaries was my most frequent and favorite one, a name I reserved for the times the upcoming week’s anxiety really kicked in. Yeah, yeah; those weekends of parties, drinks, and less-than-enough sleep with your wilder friends Friday and Saturday didn’t help. Sunday Funday sounded like a nice one, but you and I both know that was a poor play to avoid the responsibilities of the upcoming week (or try to at least).
Like any relationship, we’ll never be perfect. Sometimes I’m mad at you for being the transition into the work week, for knowing that when I close my eyes I’ll wake up to a jarring alarm clock and the start of what sometimes feels like a never-ending cycle devoid of real meaning – like a hamster running in a wheel. Sometimes I wish it could be just the two of us together forever. Not a meeting, not a responsibility, not a Monday in sight. Sometimes, you leave me feeling energized, actually antsy to leap out of bed the next morning to see what awaits!
“SOMETIMES I WISH IT COULD BE JUST THE TWO OF US TOGETHER FOREVER. NOT A MEETING, NOT A RESPONSIBILITY, NOT A MONDAY IN SIGHT. BUT, UNLIKE ANY OTHER RELATIONSHIP, I REALIZE THAT I FULLY OWN OUR HAPPINESS TOGETHER. EVERY WEEK IS DIFFERENT AND I’M PROBABLY NOT THERE YET - SCRATCH THAT - WE BOTH KNOW THERE’S NO ‘THERE.’ I GUESS ACCEPTING THIS AND DOING MY BEST TO ENJOY THE JOURNEY HAS HELPED US THE MOST.”
Image: @jackiemgraham via Instagram
But, unlike any other relationship, I realize that I fully own our happiness together. Every week is different and I’m probably not there yet - scratch that – we both know there’s no “there.” I guess accepting this and doing my best to enjoy the journey has helped us the most (note to self: that’s the forever practice, right?). Having a job made rewarding by the creative and challenging work, the smart and compassionate people, and the company that wants to use its name to make the world a kinder place cannot go unnoted. But doing the things that bring me joy, expand who I am, or help me quiet all the clutter up there in my brain – whether it’s art, reading, cooking, watching some good (or bad -- ahem Bravo) TV, getting into nature, catching up with friends - I think those things have helped us the most.
I vow I will do my best to keep us moving toward happiness, to let go of the FOMO, to continue the rituals that help me be more present with you (and with me), and to seek more reasons to look forward to our adventures together each week, knowing that you’ll forgive me when I *inevitably* fail.
xx,
Jackie
Image: @jackiemgraham via Instagram
Jackie lives in San Francisco where she works for Sephora in Fragrance Marketing. She is also an artist, focused on watercolor painting. You can see more of her artwork on her website www.jackiemgraham.com and her Instagram @jackiemgraham.